A person’s name: the most important sound in the world

Published 12:00 pm Saturday, July 21, 2018

“Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” – Dale Carnegie

I hate it when I cannot remember someone’s name or facts about their lives that I know I should remember.

I know I am being hard on myself, but what you remember about someone is a reflection of how much you care. As Mr. Carnegie stated, a person’s name is the sweetest and most important sound to them.

The great news is that we can all learn how to memorize anything with a few techniques and sheer willpower. And memory training will help keep us sharp as we age. Studies have shown that older people who stay engaged in complex occupations have lower incidences of dementia.

“Use it or lose it” holds true for our brains and our bodies. Why not start our training now? A great memory yields huge benefits in our work and personal lives. We’ll enjoy the benefits today and many years down the road.

Below are eight quick steps to remember names every time.

1.  Curiosity Mindset

Approach introductions as an opportunity to build new friendships. It is not about you, it is about the new person you are meeting.

It is easy to get caught up thinking about what we will say next, but the best conversations are when you get an opportunity to learn about the other person. Approach every new introduction with curiosity and your brain will be ready to remember names and facts (and we’ll be much better conversationalists).

2. Ask for Their Name

This goes right along with the curiosity mindset. You are seeking to learn about them, so offer up your name and ask for theirs.

3. Repeat Their Name

Once your new friend says their name, repeat it back to them immediately. For instance, “Hi Jim, it is great to meet you.” Then ask them a question and listen. If your new friend asks a question about you, answer it briefly and then volley a question back to them.

4. Slow Down

These techniques require you to take time when you are meeting someone. Don’t let meeting a crowd of people rush you through the process. If you get forced to go too fast to remember someone’s name and a few facts, re-introduce yourself later when you can take more time.

5. Search for Nuggets

While you are learning about the other person be looking for unique characteristics they have in appearance or background that you can tie to their name.

6. Create a Visual Story

Is Jim a tall and slim guy? Then you have a quick visual. In your mind, you can put Jim into one of those Slim Jim wrappers and put him on a shelf in the convenience store. Is Jim not so slim? You can visualize Jim busting out of the wrapper.

7. Write It Down

I love technology and smartphones are one of the greatest tools ever to capture information on the fly. If I can hold on to the information about a person long enough to get it into my phone I have won the battle.

I can jot down the names of their spouses and kids. I can note the funny story I created to memorize their name and anything else I remember about their background. Most importantly, I can practice getting their name, face and story deeper into my memory.

8. Practice, Practice, Practice

This is where I have truly failed lately. Like anything good in life, memorizing names and faces takes discipline. From the approach to the follow up it takes a conscious effort.

The ability to remember names, faces and information about the people you meet is one of the most important life skills any of us can master. Great lives are built on great relationships and relationships are hard to build if you cannot remember someone’s name.

Curt Fowler is President of Fowler & Company (valuesdrivenresults.com) and Director at Fowler, Holley, Rambo & Stalvey (valdostacpa.com). He is dedicated to helping leaders create and achieve a compelling vision for their organization. He is a syndicated business writer, keynote speaker and has an MBA in Strategy and Entrepreneurship from the Kellogg School. He is also a CPA and a pretty good guy as defined by his wife and four children.