Spotting the wild whistle pig
Nature’s creatures have a funny way of showing up when you least expect them. I have been in the woods all my life and have seen most of the local fauna and flora this area has to offer. On this particular day, however, fate placed a creature in my path that I had never seen outside (or inside) a cage. Now you won’t believe this, but on a stack of Bibles my buddies and I spotted a wild whistle pig.
These are the absolute facts of the sighting.
A group of us were playing golf in a tournament near Homer in Banks County. My partners witnessed this as well, but only one is credible. Kenny Moore (a former coach), Steve Cisson (another former coach) and the Rev. Tom Duff were my cohorts on this day, and you can probably imagine which one of these would serve as my notary public if I were called upon to take an oath as to the truth of these events.
As we were finishing the 15th hole on the far reaches of this beautiful little country course, I saw some movement in the trees just behind us. As I swung around to get a better look I noticed a hairy, brown animal about two feet in length scoot halfway up a small sweet gum tree and stop dead still. As previously noted I have seen lots of different animals in the course of my years, many of which can climb trees, but this was no raccoon, squirrel or bobcat. This creature looked like a beaver with no tail.
I pointed out the animal to my partners and golf was put on hold for a moment while we looked to see what it was. Coach Moore, with his naturally inquisitive mind said, “Let’s play golf.” Rev. Duff sermonized, “Y’all gonna play golf or go hunting?” Now being the Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn of the group, Coach Cisson and I decided to check it out. Unfazed by our partner’s sarcasm and lack of curiosity, we snuck up on the miniature Sasquatch in question. As we inched ever closer, I expected the thing to go on up in the tree out of sight. Such was not the case. The little beast stayed perfectly still about six or seven feet up the tree. This led me to believe we might be slinking up on something that was very bold and mean. As we moved still nearer I began to have doubts about our course of action.
Steadily advancing on our quarry (the pace had slowed by now as cowardice crept in) I was glad that two golf clubs were still in my hand. Cisson said, “Let me have that pitching wedge,” and I gave him the smaller of the two weapons available to me. By now we were right beside the thing. Coach poked it with the business end of the club (as small boys will tend to do) and I steadied myself for what might come next. Praying that the stout looking
brute would scurry on up the tree, I was stunned to see it do exactly the opposite and began to quickly come down the tree. This was not what I had hoped for so I cocked my weapon for action. Fortunately, it ran meekly away from us and down into a culvert making a sound I would not want to hear if alone in a dark house during a thunderstorm.
I asked Huck Finn what he thought the thing was and with great authority he pronounced it to be a groundhog. Being a skeptic by nature I did not believe him even though he seemed pretty positive. Of course as soon as I got home I used that tried and true method that all learned men know and depend on. I Googled it. Sure enough the Google man gave an exact description of what we had seen. In addition to the physical description there was also an audio file of the sound it makes and that sound was precisely the sound we had borne witness to. The google guy also noted that ground hogs are otherwise known as woodchucks or whistle pigs.
If you don’t believe me you could Google but don’t listen to the sound with small children around because it will give them nightmares.
Email your weird outdoor sightings to dar8589@bellsouth.net