MOULTRIE, Ga. —

I’ve often wondered if all of that hot air that comes out of Washington, D.C., is somehow related to global warming. Just kidding. Well I’m not kidding about the hot air, but I was pulling your leg about it causing global warming.

This light-hearted idea came about as my friend, The Earl of Stumpworth by the Ochlocknee, and I were talking about alternate energy.

Of course when I was growing up, “alternate energy” basically meant conning someone else into doing your work for you in Tom Sawyer fashion. Also, “joint pain” was something you could get in a honky tonk.

The Earl and I talked about wind turbines, solar power and other potential energy sources. He jokingly noted that in the winter the seat covers in his pickup truck can create enough static electricity to light up a Christmas tree. I know what he’s talking about. I’m very allergic to static electricity. It makes me invent new words.

The both of us had recently watched a National Geographic television show where scientists were examining electric eels. These little creatures produce enough current to knock a person off his feet. I learned  that the head of the eel is positively charged while the tail carries a negative charge. So if you order one, it doesn’t require batteries.

The Earl said it was a silly notion, but it would seem that a lot of ticked off electric eels might fit into our energy search in some way. I told him that I didn’t think the idea was silly at all. I told him that I thought it was just those kinds of ponderings that lead to major discoveries.

So he asked me what kind of off-the-wall ideas I might have in such venue.

Well, I have often contemplated lightning. The power in a bolt of lightning is incredible. I’ve seen it split a pine tree from top to bottom, and I’ve seen it kill livestock.

Now I’m pretty sure the Benjamin Franklin experiment with the kite, the key and the lightning didn’t happen exactly the way it was portrayed to us in grammar school. I’m also pretty sure Davy Crockett didn’t kill a bear when he was only three. By my estimation, Franklin was lucky to have survived his little flirtation with heavenly fireworks. And the thing about Crockett … well when they wrote that song, something had to rhyme with Tennessee.

I once read that a single bolt of lightning could light up a major city for several hours. I’ve never seen this explored on that television show “Myth Busters,” but I would not doubt that estimation.

So here’s my silly thought. What if we could harvest the power from lightning. I mean what if there was a way to attract it to conductors and store that voltage in some kind of Ninja-class capacitor?

Now I know it would not be all that simple, but I’m pretty sure we have brilliant minds that could figure it out. However, I would not want to be the one plugging in the extension cord.

So The Earl said he thought the lightning concept had much more potential than the electric eel idea. I told him I wasn’t sure about that. I was mainly thinking that the margin for error with an electric eel might be much more conducive to one’s longevity than plugging into a lightning bolt.

Either way, a lot of thought and planning would have to go into it. Thought and planning … and with that realization I’m suddenly taken back to Congress and hot air. Time to end this thing before I get political.

(Dwain Walden is editor/publisher of the Moultrie Observer, 985-4545. Email: dwain.walden@gaflnews.com)