I am in the middle of a process of dealing with some things from my past. Many people are not willing to go back and visit a painful memory in order to gain insight and receive further healing. Jesus already paid the price and took upon Himself every sin, sickness, grief and pain but sometimes we need to face these personal failures, challenges, emotions and circumstances to bring even further healing, deliverance and insight in our lives.

Dealing with some things on a deeper level can also equip you to help others who are dealing with similar circumstances that they have yet to overcome. I have been able to look many people right in the eye and assure them that I understand their current struggle and can testify to overcoming and walking and living from a place of victory.

Many years ago, after attending Bible school and being in full time ministry. I had a short period of time where I made some very unwise decisions personally. After seeing the folly of my ways, I was able to receive God’s forgiveness and forgive those who I needed to release from any further responsibility from my unwise decisions. It took me a while before I was truly able to forgive myself and that brought a significant release and freedom. Later, while visiting another ministry, the Lord opened my understanding through one of Charles Wesley’s hymns. As the minister was expounding on this marvelous work, she got to the third verse (Oh For a Thousand Tongues to Sing). It says — “He breaks the power of canceled sin, and sets the captive free, His blood can make the foulest clean, His blood avails for me.” Sometimes there is still a “power” of sorts over a life even though the person knows that they have been forgiven. There can be “power in canceled sin” if the person does not willingly acknowledge that the price has been paid and they no longer need to live under the shadow of shame or even things like the fear of rejection. Believe me, there is a lingering “power” that follows some people, even though they may know they are forgiven. Once I understood that, I was able to walk in an even higher level of freedom.

Recently the Lord added another piece of insight that has brought even more understanding and freedom. I was in a private time of prayer with another friend and minister when she suggested something (we had been talking about continuing to get more and more freedom in the areas that have hindered us). She asked me “where was Jesus during that time of failure?” I had to “look around” because I could not imagine that He was there but finally “saw” Him. He was on His knees, praying for me! Oh my. I immediately thought of the scripture when Jesus addressed Peter at the Last Supper. Jesus said to him. “Peter, satan has desired to sift you as wheat – but I have prayed for you – and when you are — converted, or restored, return – strengthen My brethren.” (Luke 22:32-34). Oh, was Peter sifted, but Jesus always gets His prayers answered and He knew that Peter would finally see the error of his ways and repent. During the time after Jesus’ resurrection, while He was visiting different ones, He had a one on one with Peter on the beach where He recommissioned him to ‘feed His sheep”. After ten days in the Upper Room when all of the 120 present were baptized in the Holy Spirit, it was Peter who boldly proclaimed to the large crowd that had gathered that Jesus was alive and that they needed to repent and follow Him. Over 3000 were saved that day! Peter went on to become on of the leaders of the newly formed church and certainly was a strengthening force for the rest of the disciples and new converts. If he had not been restored by Jesus, that might not have happened.

I can honestly say that I feel like Peter! Though I have failed the Lord in times past, He has been my number one intercessor and has healed my brokenness. He did this, so that I could fulfill my person destiny. I too feel like I am called to strengthen the brethren (sisters included). There is nothing that gives me greater pleasure that knowing that the Lord is using me as His mouthpiece or in some other tangible way, to bless others! All of us can do that! No special training or degree or other qualification is necessary. Peter was “an unlearned fisherman” who understood some of the basics of Torah (he was Jewish and likely went to temple regularly) but other than the three incredible years he spent with the Son of God, he had no credentials. Peter raised the dead, cast out devils, preached to large crowds and had so much of the glory of God emanating from him after the resurrection that people placed their sick out on the streets so that Peter’s shadow would overshadow them and they would be healed!

Peter grew into his identity that Jesus had given him – The Rock”. He was not acting like The Rock the night he denied that he knew Jesus – three times. There were other times in Peter’s life that he struggled with his identity – Paul had to correct him one time when he was not willing to stand with the Gentile believers in the freedom that the Lord Had given them, but rather sided with the religious Jews who still had a wrong mindset of staying separate (like parts of the body of Christ today). But Peter continued to grow into his identity and there were testimonies of the amazing power that he walked in – where even his shadow (the glory of God in his life) brought healing to those who he passed by!

We are to keep growing in our identity in Christ. We have all made our mistakes and have our regrets, but we don’t need to stay there! Jesus is our great Intercessor – and if He prayed for Peter and I know that He was praying for me, I am certain He is also praying and interceding for you!