All of us are on a journey. Some of us have secured our final destination when we gave our hearts to the Lord Jesus Christ. Others are still ignorant or unaware that there will be a fork in the road they are currently on and a choice will have to be made as to which direction they want to go for the rest of their journey. Choosing to follow Jesus is the only right choice in my opinion and our eternal life beyond this earthly part of our journey will be determined by our own free will choice. I am so glad I made that choice many years ago! I have not walked a “straight and narrow path” but thankfully in His infinite mercy and love, He has corrected me and steered me back to that glorious path that leads to eternal life. It is a broad highway, once you get on it and realize the freedom Jesus has bought and paid for with His own life as the sacrifice for our sins and waywardness.

On my journey, I have met many people. Some have been in my life for only a brief time and yet may have influenced or affected my life tangibly. Some relationships have a long history – like my elementary school bestie, Barb. We have known each other since third grade and even though we have not seen each other in years, we both try to stay in touch. I have other friends from my college days that I hear from or see from time to time and we can pick up right where we left off – because of our mutual love for one another. I also have newer friends that I have met because of sharing a common interest or passion. Some of those relationships have and will continue long after that interest or project is over.

The depth of a relationship depends on the willingness of both parties – to be open, honest, transparent, and loyal. Not all relationships are meant to be developed to that level of intimacy but I believe God, our Creator designed us for relationship. We are made in His image. The fellowship of the Holy Trinity is perfect in every way and Their desire is for us to share relationship with others.

Of course marriage should be as close to “heaven on earth” as a relationship between two people can be. Most marriages fall way short of that ideal. Christian marriages are no exception. The statistics for failed marriages amongst believers is as high as among unbelievers. Following Biblical principles is the only way to have a truly healthy marriage. Many unbelievers understand the importance of honor, humility, forgiveness, and other godly traits and practice them better than many professing believers.

Family relationships are based upon the same godly principles. However many families are dysfunctional for various reasons. Trauma from previous generations can be passed down from one generation to the next and then manifest in the family dynamic creating more damage and dysfunctionality.  That can then be passed on to future relationships and generations. It is a cycle that if left unhealed will continue and many times seems to get worse in the following generations. We certainly had some of those dynamics in my own family and gratefully the Lord had the opportunity to intervene with the salvation of my parents and siblings. I am quite certain more things can and need to be broken off and dealt with. That is God’s desire in every family.

Each friendship can be so different in the way it is experienced.  Over the many years of my life I have experienced friendships on many different levels, from very casual and usually short term to those few treasured friends who have shared a longer portion of time and usually depth of relationship.

As I was out walking and talking to the Lord about a relationship that has gotten tested or strained recently, I was asking the Lord about what to do. I immediately declared “I love (this person). I know that she loves me.” I repeated it a few times (out loud) and knew that it was the truth. The challenge for me (and possibly for her) is to work through the offense that came as a result of the circumstances and misunderstandings. (This is my perspective because it is still a work in progress). None of us can read another person’s thoughts, nor do we know their entire history of what would cause them to react that way. We do not know what kinds of trauma they have experienced in their life. We also don’t always know why something a person says or does “triggers” us the way it does but the reality is that it does and sometimes we can overreact to their response. Guilty. I know that I have things from my past (relationships/ traumas) that may still need more complete healing and therefore cause reactions that are not always the best or wisest ways of responding. Are we willing to make the effort it may take to restore a relationship? I can say from past relationships that have stood the test of time – it is worth it.

All of us are a “work in progress.” We are being conformed to His image and likeness if we are willing to go through the refining process! I want to not only act like Jesus did while He was here on earth as a man (He is our example), but I also want to reflect His nature and character in all that I do and say. When heat is applied to the refining process of a precious metal, the “junk” (impurities) comes to the surface. The refiner takes something to scoop it off from the surface of the liquid metal that is being purified and discards it. Our Holy Spirit is like a refiner’s fire and He wants to take us through the process so that we can be a vessel of honor, fit for the Master’s use.

Have you ever had a relationship that seemed to have been wonderful for a season but because of a conflict or a difference of opinion that seemed irreconcilable it ended? I have had a few friends that I thought I had a closer relationship with withdraw from me. In almost every one of them, we had differing views on certain issues that we would skirt around (both being aware that we were not in agreement on that subject) but we were never able to talk through it as friends.  I am very aware that I am strongly opinionated on certain topics but I want to be able to honor other people’s perspectives. I don’t think I have done a very good job and am the poorer because of it. Hopefully, I will do better in the future.

I want to be a safe place for others to express their views, opinions, and yes, even their struggles without feeling judged. Only God’s love can provide that kind of safe place. I know every circumstance we find ourselves in with others has the potential to become a healthy, godly relationship or an unhealthy, toxic relationship. If Jesus could call Judas “friend” in the garden as he betrayed Jesus, how much more effort should we put into cultivating godly relationships with others?