Tara Wentworth

Home Sweet Home! I arrived home earlier this week and can honestly say, “There is no place like home.”

I have been in some pretty close quarters for most of the last six weeks, sharin hotel rooms and AiBNBs as well as several homes that had small children. Certainly not what I am used to. I have lived by myself for most of my life and am probably pretty set in my ways.

I made a decision years ago that I would allow the Lord to change me. I want to be more like him and after 60 years I can say, I still have a ways to go. It is usually other people that the Lord uses to show us where we need to change. I so appreciate his faithfulness to conform us to gis image even though I don’t always like the process I have to go through.

I remember when I returned from almost four years on the mission field in Belize. My dad had graduated to his heavenly home and my mom invited me to stay with her until I knew the next steps I needed to take. Needless to say, as much as I loved my mother who was married to my dad for 50 years, we had very different perspectives on a lot of things.

It took me (and her) a while to work out our differences in how we approached our daily lives together. She was half of a “we” for 50 years and I was very used to being independent and doing my own thing without checking in with someone else. I actually had a few people tell me I ought to go ahead and move out so I wouldn’t have to deal with our differences.

But I knew that the Lord was using this time to adjust both of us (mostly me). I chose to stay and asked the Lord to help me. He took me to Colossians 3 where Paul is admonishing believers to “put off and put on.

“But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth. Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds, and have put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge, according to the image of Him who created him … therefore as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, long suffering, bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another, even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do, But above all these things, put on love, which is the bond of perfection.” (Colossians 3:8-14)

Within just a few days of practicing this principle, peace and harmony returned to our home and we stayed together in this beautiful atmosphere for the remainder of Mom’s days here on earth. She lived to be almost 90.

I found myself in a similar situation on this trip.

You may think you know people pretty well but until you are with them around the clock for an extended period of time — you probably are not seeing the entire picture. My expectations as well as my perspective on some things were not the same as several of my team members. We were able to work through these differences fairly well because we wanted to honor one another as well as recognizing that we were each unique individuals with different ways of doing things or even perceiving things.

I was thinking about this from a church or congregational perspective. If two or five people have difficulties working, living and being together, how much more of a challenge it is for a group of people (average church size is 75-100 with many smaller and larger congregations as well). No wonder we see so many church splits. It is far easier to leave an uncomfortable situation rather than trying to work through the dynamics involved in fulfilling Jesus’ prayer in John 17 “that they may be one …”

When we are able to walk and work together for the advancement of the kingdom of God here on this earth, we can expect to see the kinds of things the early church did. On the day of Pentecost when the 120 met together in the upper room, scripture states they were in one accord and 3,000 were saved as a result.

Later on in the book of Acts there are several examples of the need to work through the differences. We don’t have all the details but enough to know that Paul and Barnabus, who had worked together as a team, later split up or became two teams. (I call it multiplication rather than the seeming or temporary division of these two men.)

Peter and Paul did not see things the same and their differences had to be addressed, for the sake of the rest of the church. Later in one of his letters, Paul admonishes several sisters in the Lord to repair their differences.

As I have written many times, the power of unity is something our enemy has no ability to combat other than to sow discord among the brethren. John Bevere wrote an excellent book a number of years ago called, “The Bait of Satan.”

He highlights the fact that unforgiveness is the number one tool our enemy can use to keep us divided and therefore unable to be the powerful force we can be when working together in one accord.

There are very few things that are worth losing relationships over. Different personalities, different gifts and talents don’t necessarily mean there can’t be a powerful team dynamic. We need each other and we need to be able to appreciate our differences.

God made us the unique individual that we are. No one else is exactly like us. When we are insecure in who God made us to be, we begin to compare and compete with one another rather than complement each other.

I find myself revisiting 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (TPT) quite often to remind myself what true love is supposed to look like: “Love is large and incredibly patient. Love is gentle and consistently kind to all. It refuses to be jealous when blessing comes to someone else. Love does not brag about one’s achievements nor inflate its own importance. Love does not traffic in shame and disrespect, nor selfishly seek its own honor. Love is not easily irritated or quick to take offense. Love joyfully celebrates honesty and finds no delight in what is wrong. Love is a safe place of shelter, for it never stops believing the best for others. Love never takes failure as defeat, for it never gives up. Love never stops loving.”

May I encourage each of us to ponder these words. If you are struggling with a relationship that you know is not what it has been or should be, ask the Lord what you can do to make it right.

Humility is always the right direction to go when there is a strained or broken relationship. Not every relationship will continue or is meant to continue on indefinitely but there should be proper closure without ill feelings. Do all that is within your power to make things right between you and your fellow traveler on this journey of life.