I acknowledge that I am now unofficially considered officially old. I’ll be 62 in June.

Like many of you, I’m old enough to remember news programs on television (and radio) where the object of those presenting that news was to give you the viewer/listener facts regarding a story, and then let you sort those facts out for how they impacted you in your life from your viewpoint.

I’m happy to say that most newspapers (including this one) still use that basic approach today. But electronic media? Nope, not even close.

So now, to help you better understand what cud you’re chewing on when you choose to watch CNN, Fox, MSNBC, or pretty much any other ‘news’ network these days, I present to you “The 15 Commandments of Modern Day News.”

1. Remember the dollar bill, and to keep it holy above all else.

2. Thou shalt spin whatever information there is regarding a story to fit the particular narrative you want the ignorant and gullible public to believe and/or feel about it, because feelings are more important than truth because they are much easier to exploit and far more profitable.

3. Thou shalt not present anything resembling the same information someone with a differing narrative/spin presents, just to make sure tension and anxiety stay entrenched in the public psyche to better ensure they keep coming back for more and more and more of it from you, you, and nobody else but you, since you are right everyone else is not only wrong but stupid, too, and doing so better guarantees those on your side sees the ads associated with your side of the narrative (see Commandment #1).

4. Thou shalt call anyone an expert based on whether or not the information they can provide fits your narrative…and if you really want to convince the ignorant and gullible public that what you are saying is believable (however factual it may or may not be), you then shalt use the phrase “Many experts believe…” while citing two or three such ‘experts.’

5. Thou art allowed to withhold (or just not seek) truthful and relevant information if that information does not fit your narrative, up to and including selectively quoting parts of, framing, implying, or otherwise convoluting said information to fit that narrative – and the more dramatic the convoluting, the more division is sewn, which leads to more partisanship and eventually more profit from those who see the world through your view (see Commandment #1).

6. Thou can also callest things ‘outright lies’ – even if those things are 100% factual – with little to no basis for doing so if those things do not line up with your spin, or if your advertisers do not agree with them (see Commandment #1).

7. Thou can take any information that thou deems ‘usable’ and use it to draw conclusions that make absolutely no sense to anyone with anything resembling an objective view of that information, but that make your advertisers happy and glad to keep writing your side checks to pay for their advertising (see Commandment #1).

8. Thou art allowed to take pretty much any word and twist its meaning to either fit your narrative or discredit a rival to prove to God and everyone else just how stupid they are and how smart you and your side are.

9. Thou art allowed to repeat any claim, however outrageous and/or inaccurate, if thou attributes said claim to your ‘experts’ just so that thy audience stays tuned long enough to see the commercials.

10. Thou shalt remember that if thou decides to disregard these Commandments and actually present truthful, factual information without any kind of spin or narrative involved thou shalt be labeled a traitor to whatever side you were supposed to be blindly loyal to and place thy very livelihood and life security in danger from those who will not tolerate such a blatant display of integrity that risks upsetting advertisers (see Commandment #1).

11. Thou willst not face any negative consequences for twisting truth and/or fact to suit your particular narrative because if everyone else is doing it then nobody is doing anything wrong, right?

12. Thou shall not assert any factual information or truths from ‘experts’ and/or sources who might be used by those representing ‘the other side’, since doing so would provide clarity and reliable information that cannot be profited from (see Commandment #1).

13. Thou shalt not lie if there is a way for ‘those idiots on the other side’ to actually prove it is a lie. Therefore, more ambiguous information that is loosely based on fact and be spun to fit thy narrative is far preferred over something that cannot be refuted, even by your ‘experts.’

14. Should thou not provide sufficient support for thy particular narrative/spin so that thou is outed as a liar that cannot be trusted, thou shalt face the wrath of those you were supposed to be protecting so that they can still continue to get paid (see Commandment #1).

15. If thou doest forget these Commandments and thou doest not keep them holy 24/7/365 (unless it is a leap year, then 366), then just to be safe please refer back to Commandment #1 in all cases.