When I was growing up here in Thomas County, one of the things that really struck me about this community was its friendliness, and just how polite everyone was. It amazed me that everybody spoke to everybody else regardless of anything, even whether you actually really knew the other person or not.

Honestly, as a kid who came here after living in a big city, all that “howdy y’all” attitude kind of bugged me initially. After a while though, it just felt nice to be treated nicely, and I joined in myself — up to and including minding my manners.

This past month, Southern Living magazine ran a story regarding the diminishing use of “sir” and “ma’am” in our region, and how apparently the practice of teaching our kids to say “yes sir” or “no ma’am” that has long been a part of the what we as Southerners are is falling out of vogue with parents.

Seems more and more parents are choosing to teach their kids to simply say “yes” or “no” in response to their elders, removing the “gender specific” nomenclature from the mix. I’m not trying to suggest that a young person can’t be respectful to those older folks around them if they don’t use “sir” or “ma’a”’ in their responses to them. But I do think our willingness to allow such to fade away says perhaps something more about the adults in the mix than it does the kids. 

Most young people will do pretty much what is asked of them by adults they respect. And for generations, adults not only required their children to use those terms in regard to their elders, but they also used them consistently themselves, modeling the behavior they wished to see from their offspring. 

In other words, used to be you’d hear “yes sir” or “no ma’am”, “thank you” and “please” as a basic, regular part of our local vocabulary — and not just from kids, either.

No, to be sure, somewhere along the line, I fear too many are forgetting — or simply choosing to ignore — many of the little things that have always made a place like Thomasville truly a place apart.

Used to be someone not waving at you when you went by them in a vehicle (or not) was the exception, not the rule.

Used to be you’d never see a lady opening a door by herself. Men would be knocking each other out of the way to open it for her.

Used to be you’d walk through the store and say hello to everyone — and I mean everyone — that you made eye contact with, and there was no way to go without being stopped by at least a few friendly faces that wanted to talk at length.

Used to be kids could ride their bikes (remember those?) out in our community with little fear. Better yet, their parents didn’t have to worry about whether they’d ever come home or not because they knew every other parent was looking out for every kid in their line of sight.

Used to be parents really paid attention to how their kids dressed, who they hung out with, and yes, whether or not they were respectful of their elders. And, if the parents saw/heard/noticed something they didn’t like, there was a price to be paid for it.

Of course, used to be kids actually had caring parents, too.

Now, with all that said, I want to be clear: we are very blessed here in Thomas County regarding our young people and 99 percent of the parenting that is happening with them. I know that as well or better than anyone, as I’ve had first-hand dealings with our kids and their parents for the last 25 years. We’re absolutely doing something right, but we need to be aware that fact isn’t by sheer chance or accident.

The fact of the matter is friendliness breeds caring, caring breeds respect, respect breeds loving thy neighbor, and loving thy neighbor breeds a tight-knit community. I just hope Thomasville and Thomas Countians aren’t forgetting the basics, because if we forget how to do those things then the stuff that comes after them stand a snowflakes chance in Meigs of occurring.

We, meaning all of us, just can’t let that happen.

And while I know development and growth are inevitable, I hope we will remember that people aren’t attracted to Thomasville and Thomas County because they find concrete, polluted air, and big city attitude tinged with a sharp dash of rudeness here.

Nope, people are attracted to our green, open spaces, fresh country air, and old-fashioned Southern hospitality dripping with heart-felt, sincere, butter-churned charm. It’s a special recipe that creates genuine attachment by most who discover it.

Take those simple things away and we become just another one of a million soulless, cookie-cutter communities. In other words, just another one of those places that all look the same, feel the same, and act the same – and none of the sameness is particularly good.

This is our community now, and it’s ours to tend and nurture. Let’s work harder to make sure we don’t forget the little things that have always made this place the special place it has been for so many generations.  

We lose them, and we will lose precisely what “it” is that makes us special.