When our Founding Fathers spent weeks drafting the Declaration of Independence, they ignited a war to secure America’s freedom from Britain’s control. In an interesting twist, the process of creating this groundbreaking document also laid the foundation for a more peaceful society for the new nation.

How can we integrate this core value of peace into our relationships today?

Think back to the last time you and someone else were at war with each other. Remember how upset both of you felt when you desperately wanted to be heard? Yet your anger, along with your convictions that you were right, affected your hearing.

Instead of listening to each other, you spoke harsh words. Angry words. Regrettable words. Before you realized it, you both had said far more than you intended to. Far more than you should have.

When we carelessly vent our feelings, we may feel better in the short term, but when the Holy Spirit convicts us of our sin, we feel worse than ever.

Psalm 139:23-24 are excellent verses to help us gain the right perspective. “Search me [thoroughly], O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there is any wicked or hurtful way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (AMPC).

What would happen if each of us invited God to examine our heart and ways? And then listened for Him to speak words of wisdom, discernment and love into our hearts?

Praying and obeying this week’s passage will help us reflect the same unconditional love we receive from God toward the person with whom we’re in conflict, even when we’re not “feeling the love” from them. More importantly, it will help us see our own actions more clearly.

Which relationships in your life would benefit from praying these verses?

Since we can’t change the other person (but don’t we always want to?), we can benefit from asking God to show us where we’re wrong, reveal our own faults, and point out the areas we need to change.

As challenging as this may be, we must choose (I emphasize “choose”) to do so if we want to have God-honoring relationships. As we commit to seeing each other – and ourselves – through Jesus’ eyes, consider how this would transform our marriages and families. Think how it would change our communities, including our churches.

Imagine a July 4th in America without any wars.

I pray that we’ll refuse to let conflict disrupt our personal relationships or divide us as a nation. This July 4th, and every day thereafter, let’s see and love others the same way God sees and loves them.

To borrow from a classic song, Let there be peace in America. And let it begin with me.

Sheryl H. Boldt is a faith columnist and the author of the blog www.TodayCanBeDifferent.net. You can reach her at SherylHBoldt@gmail.com.