Dear Samuel Knox Wansley:

Who are you and who am I? The answer is that you are the youngest member of the family still awaiting your first birthday and I am your great-grandfather who doesn’t have that many birthdays ahead of him. So, I thought we should have this conversation while I am still able to write it and hope that one day you will choose to read it.

There is a good chance I won’t be in your memory bank as you get older. Not many people ever knew their great-grandparents, including me. There is also the risk that anything I share with you today will be totally irrelevant by the time you reach adulthood. But it is a risk I am willing to take because even as the world seemingly changes at warp speed, I am convinced that certain fundamental principles remain inviolate.

Let me start with a painful truth: Life is not fair. It never has been and it never will be. What is important is how you deal with it. And how you deal with it will be determined by who you are. What you stand for. Your value system. As you add years, that will emerge.

You will be influenced by family. Fortunately, you have a good one, loving and caring and secure. You will be influenced by friends. Pick them carefully. You may also be influenced by strangers – people whose actions you observe and choose to emulate or to reject. Just remember that people will be watching you, as well, for the same reasons. Set a good example.

In the end, who you are depends on you. The great English playwright William Shakespeare said it best, “To thine own self be true.” He wrote those words some 400-plus years ago and the advice is as relevant today as it was in his time. No one will ever know you as well as you know yourself. Be true to your beliefs, whatever they may be, and don’t compromise them just to go along and get along. You will think less of yourself, as will others.

Don’t be afraid to stand up for what you believe in but don’t feel threatened if someone disagrees with you. Sometimes, by listening to a different viewpoint, you may learn something you didn’t know. But whatever you do, stay away from politics and religion. Those are generally no-win discussions.

Don’t believe everything you read, see or hear. Get as much factual information as you can and make an informed decision based on a variety of sources. Technology can help, but it is not the answer, just a means to the answer. While you can get information much faster than could my generation, faster is not necessarily better. Some of the best things in life are best observed slowly, like a sunset or the mist on a mountaintop after a rain.

Be the best you can be at whatever you do, be it academics, sports, music or just being a good son, brother and friend. You may not always succeed, but you can lay your head on your pillow at night knowing you gave it your best shot.

Take life seriously, but not too seriously. Have a sense of humor. Laughter has been referred to as good medicine and studies have shown that it is. You will find plenty of absurdity in this world worth a laugh. That’s a given.

Love and be loved. It is easy to love those who love you. But what about those we don’t particularly like? Should we love them, too? The Bible says to love everybody as you love yourself. No exceptions. The Bible doesn’t say you have to like them. There is a difference. And there is nothing wrong with loving yourself. It’s called self esteem and in moderate amounts it is helpful.

Finally, there are two things in this world we can’t change. Yesterday and tomorrow. What has happened has happened and we can’t undo it. We can learn from it but yesterday is gone and isn’t coming back. As for tomorrow, we have no guarantees there will be a tomorrow. And yet, we spend most of our time grinding over yesterday and fretting over what could happen tomorrow. Live in this day. Life is fragile. Don’t take anything for granted.

That’s it. Just some thoughts from an old man who had to learn life the hard way. May your journey be a smooth one.

Love,

Pa

You can reach Dick Yarbrough at dick@dickyarbrough.com or at P.O. Box 725373, Atlanta, Georgia 31139.