I’ve played guitar in rock bands for nearly 45 years, and I’ve been a parent for about half of that time. So what the heck do those two things have to do with each other, you ask?

I read about a new book entitled “Touring and Mental Health: The Music Industry Manual” that’s being called a ‘survival manual’ for musicians who are out on the road. “This comprehensive manual will help musicians and those working in live music to identify and cope with the various physical and psychological difficulties that can occur during, or as a result of, touring,” the book’s website touts.

Written by healthcare professionals and endorsed by people like Fleetwood Mac and Beyonce’s tour manager as well as several touring musicians from bands like Radiohead, it’s a way-overdue handbook to help those souls out on the road for extended periods of time be able to keep their wits about them while doing so.

With that said, I was struck with how the advice offered to those touring musicians in the book could double as words of wisdom for moms and dads trying to figure out how to be better parents. Given that there isn’t an instruction manual on how to be a better group/family manager/parent, if you’re like me any sage advice is more than welcome.

Let me offer up a few nuggets from the book and maybe you’ll see what I mean:

“One way to stop or manage an escalation (within a group) is to take a ‘Time Out’. It’s an opportunity to calm down, cool off and look for the emotions that might be underneath the anger. When I’m upset, it is my responsibility to remove myself from the situation.”

Wait. Isn’t ‘time out’ supposed to be for kids? Yes, but…sometimes time out for the adults in the equation is the more effective prescription. We’re quick to banish our kids to time out when they’ve done something wrong, but what do we do when our own emotions are running hot? Remember — we’re the grown-ups in the arrangement. Read that last line in the quote one more time — who has control over you when you’re upset? You.

“Performances are unique, co-created experiences, which have the power to alter your state of mind.”

As a guy who has been part of hundreds of onstage band performances, I can attest to this fact. What kicks this ‘state of mind alteration’ into high gear? Oxytocin — the same ‘feel good’ hormone that is released during most any stimulation of sensory nerves. It is also released when you are engaged in performing onstage or connecting with others in a social situation. Oxytocin’s nemesis is stress. Spend more quality time together as a group/family doing fun things, and make sure you stay connected to friends outside your home as well.

We work better and happier in packs — and support from the pack reduces stress, which gives oxytocin a chance to work. One thing leads to another (hey, that could be a song…).

“You have to be healthy to have a good band.”

You can’t function as part of a working band if you don’t take care of yourself. We are constantly yapping at our kids about healthy eating/sleeping/exercise habits and reducing time staring at screens — but do we follow those rules ourselves? Kids model what they see from you. Establish ‘rules of engagement’ regarding meal time, exercise, getting outside, etc. and be brave enough to live by them yourself. Do that, and watch your kids fall in line behind you — again, making your life less stressful.

“Most people will get an hour, or an hour and a half, at some point during the day, to be able to either sit quietly with their instrument, go to the crew-room or bus and chill or just read a book in a corner… The problem is the people who have that downtime don’t use it effectively.”

The old southern proverb reads: “Sometimes I sit and think…and sometimes I just sit.” What do you do with your ‘down time’? What do you need it to be in the moment you have it? It’s very important for your mental state. Don’t waste it.

“The single most predictive factor in happiness, longevity and physical and mental health (in a band) is the existence and upkeep of at least one secure relationship.”

Your spouse is the most important person in your family, because it is a proven statistical fact that if they are happy then you are happy — and chances are your children will be, too. And, on top of that, having those healthy friendships outside your home solidifies your place ‘in the band’, which makes your life more fulfilling and harmonious.

Finally, a few chuckle-worthy nuggets: “…finding it hard to focus, concentrate, remember things clearly or make decisions,” are normal emotional states. Being on the road as a group also promotes “different patterns to your usual eating habits”, “reduced personal hygiene” and may lead to “increasing your use of legal or illegal substances”. Apparently “being frequently tearful” is also considered to be an accepted part of the experience.

Now I ask you — has there ever been a single paragraph that better encapsulates the experience of being a parent?

So rock on, mom and dad. Your family is the magnum opus of your life.