Disc Golf

Patches O’Houlihan had a dramatic, yet effective, way of teaching the skills of dodgeball in the hit 2004 movie “Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story.”

“If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball,” he told the stunned team prior to actually throwing wrenches at them.

Clearly then if you can throw an Ultimate Frisbee, or the cheap flying discs used as promotional tools, it seems you can succeed at disc golf based on O’Houlihan’s motivational words.

Puh-lease. Golf disc sounded like a cinch.

No. Puh-lease, get me a larger scorecard.

I played the first four holes of the MacIntyre Park course and shot a 9-over Wednesday afternoon after getting some instruction from Red Hills Disc Golf member Allen Thornhill. It’s not exactly the result I thought I’d see going into the day. Instead of resembling days on an ultimate frisbee field back home, it looked more like my first day on a ball golf course.

At least on the fields, chemistry and human skill are pliable. Disc golf is all on the thrower and the disc, which is a lot more complicated than any beginner might expect.

Thornhill had a bag full of discs, 25 to be exact, and it wasn’t the various colors that differentiated them. It was their use, just like in golf: drivers, fairway discs, mid-range, putts. There are discs more stabilized than others. Some have more fade or more speed or more turn or more glide.

Yea, it’s intense. It became clear very quickly disc golf is a sport in its own realm with plenty of strategy.

I found out how true that is when I took to the tee pad to take a shot.

The first hole is 324 feet and while it did seem far away — and not too badly twisted behind trees — I figured I could make it close with two throws based on my Ultimate Frisbee throws.

Puh-lease.

That little blur of a deep pink disc took a sharp curve through the nearest hanging branches and took a line for the road with a Jeep suddenly approaching. Thankfully, no disc was harmed in the making of this piece.

Holding a disc isn’t the same as holding a Frisbee. To properly hold a disc, the four pads of the fingers hold the inside of the bottom lip while the thumb rests on top near the edge. There are all sorts of different pointers and tips for the various nine-inch discs, which Thornhill, “bless his heart,” tried to teach me. It all felt incredibly weird compared to the grip on an 11-inch, 175-gram frisbee.

Thornhill is hosting the fifth annual Mac Attack disc golf tournament Saturday at MacIntyre Park, an official Professional Disc Golf Association (PDGA) event that donates its proceeds to Hands On Thomas County. Justin Eubanks, 23, was already in town for the event Wednesday and had spent the day “getting a feel for the course.” It’s not uncommon for PDGA members to do so, just as it’s not uncommon for them to travel to different parts of the country to up their rankings. Eubanks traveled from Panama City, Florida to play and while he won’t have a caddy Saturday, some in the top tiers do use one.

For those in the beginner dregs, it’s all about being one with the disc. Watching it fly through the air is a lot like golfing: Coax it along (You know you do that). All that advanced stuff can wait, because disc golf is actually a ton of fun. It’s even more fun when you start to get the hang of how to throw a completely new object.

I shot 3-over on each of the first two holes, all of which are par-3s at MacInytre Park. I got a little better on the third hole, shooting a double bogey after getting snared up with my putts. As with ball golf, Thornhill said, the real points come on the putts. The idea is to throw or toss the disc at the chains so it falls down into the basket though as with mini golf, it’s not always as easy as it may sound or look.

I did follow it up with a bogey on the fourth hole after a strong drive down the imaginary fairway, finishing my day on a high note but leaving me far, far behind the course-record of 10-under.

It leaves tons of room for improvement. And proves if you can throw an Ultimate Frisbee, you can throw a golf disc without having to write down exorbitant numerals. Eventually.